I think I need a vacation..a vacation just for me, myself and I - Where I can choose to do whatever it is I damn well please, whenever, wherever - sort of like a Mid-life crisis vacay!!!
Every once in a while, I have to stop and reevaluate my life - If I don't, it becomes this loop of doing the same s*** on different days. It's easy to get sucked into the loop of routine, and what follows (at least for me) is utter frustration and anger that is usually taken out on someone else.
Over the years, I've gotten a tiny bit better at recognizing the patterns - and the pattern also happens to follow my 'woman's cycle' as well. My lows are super duper lows and highs are so high that I could fly; it could almost be bipolar personality except the highs and lows don't happen at the same time, simultaneously or even on same days.
I've learned that it is as important for me to connect with myself on daily basis, as it is to connect with my family - If I don't take a 'break' just to hang out with myself, I get extremely frustrated. If I don't get to socialize, I get angry. I've also realized that I couldn't care less about anyone else except for the people that really matter to me anymore - Thank god coz it's better late than never. :)
When I do step back, I start appreciating things more instead of constantly bitching about pretty much the same things. I'm able to enjoy my time and use it more productively. I am able to plan evenings out with my girlfriends, read a good book, hell even start writing again!! I realize that I am a much much better mom when I choose to do things that I love first and give myself priority first - selfish as it may sound, it is true for me and probably for the most women out there.
